Armageddon
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Original Submissions by Rhyden of type 'Spoofs'

  • The Tale of Cuff the Dwarf
    Added on Oct 29, 2006

    This is story of Cuff, a stupid and nasty dwarf to the very end.

     

    There once was a dwarf named Cuff, who thought there was no one more buff.
    Although real good with a sword, Cuff's head was as thick as a board.
    One day while hunting around, an elf, real tall, he found.
    Grunting real hard, Cuff said: "Th'feck ye doin'ere, point-head?"
     
    The elf just laughed and replied: "Hunting for strong, dwarf hide."
    Thinking the matter right through, Cuff's mighty anger grew.
    Instead of just leaving real quickly, Cuff made the problem more sticky.
    The elf smiled while raising his spear, as Cuff the dwarf came near.
     
    "Time t'die ye stupid fecker", said Cuff as he charged the necker.
    But the elf was rather quite fast, and Cuff just trundled right past.
    Cuff decided to run at him back, but the elf kicked him right in the sack.
    Moaning, Cuff did go down, with a purely painful frown.
     
    As the elf leaned over with a grin, Cuff cut him right in the shin.
    So both were down on the floor, groaning, moaning and more.
    Now elf and dwarf were grudging, but along came a half-giant, trudging.
    As the giant looked dumbly around, he asked: "Why both on da ground?"
     
    Neither spoke; hurt bad… the giant soon grew mad.
    He crushed them both on the spot, but didn't leave him to rot.
    Instead he got from this deal, an elf and a dwarf as a meal.
    This is the end of our Cuff, who's now mostly mushy and stuff.
     
    So if you don't want to end up food, act smart and don't be rude.
    And if you run into an elf, just run and save yourself.
     
     

     

    There once was a dwarf named Cuff, who thought there was no one more buff.

    Although real good with a sword, Cuff's head was as thick as a board.

    One day while hunting around, an elf, real tall, he found.

    Grunting real hard, Cuff said: "Th'feck ye doin'ere, point-head?"

     

    The elf just...


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